Can feel it...

Grumble.

Here it is, a year later and I still haven't found anyone who wants me. I end up being second best for almost every job I have had an interview for... just haven't quite pulled it off yet.
Then there is the fact that everyone in CA thinks they can hire and Exec. Chef for less than 45K per year and have them kill themselves for it. Not to say I don't want to work hard, but I want to be paid for my time, experience and talent. Is that too much to ask?

I don't want to stay in California anymore anyhow. People are too rude, too impersonal, self involved, can't drive for shit and really don't give a crap about anything but their little worlds. So Cal is worse, but the Central Valley is almost as bad. Still love love love SF. Don't think I will ever stop loving that City. Miss Houston like mad! Crazy that I miss Texass. Certainly do not miss the heat.

So, where do I want to go? The Mid-West-- the heart of the nation, Iowa. Nebraska, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Wisconsin, Minnesota, where it snows in the winter and there are tornadoes in the summer. I can make less money there and it will go further. 

Anyhow, I have been baking. Made a sick chocolate cake with beets this last week. I can't wait to taste it. OH, and saw this thing on CBS news about how your body may be telling you things about itself.... I have 2 things on the list, the ear lobe crease (sign of heart attack risk) and small yellow bumps around the eyes (fatty deposits signs of high cholesterol).  I feel like shit. So, today I decided that I really need to do something. I am. I need to stop this relentless complaining about my life, need to move forward with something else other than just waiting. I have been on hold long enough. It's depression, I KNOW... but only I can DO something.
So, taste the cake, don't eat the whole thing. Get up and MOVE damit! I know. I am sitting here writing and complaining, but that's what I am saying... no more. I HAVE to begin treating my body better, Steven can't take care of himself... and I don't want to leave this earth prematurely. I would like to live at least til I am 80. Which means, I have half of it left... better make it worth it. So, from here... progression and more blogging about the progression. maybe some recipes and pics... but damnit.. get up and move!
Talk later... this is just for me anyhow.